(OT) Software compatability problems

From: Yakov Horenstein (yakov@planet.it)
Date: Tue Feb 03 1998 - 22:20:36 EET

Here is a new version of an ongoing joke:
> I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I've been
> having some problems lately. I've been running the same version of
> DrinkingBuddies 1.0 forever as my primary application, and all the
> GirlFriend releases I've tried have always conflicted with it.
> I hear that DrinkingBuddies won't crash if GirlFriend is run in
> background mode and the sound is turned off. But I'm embarrassed to
> say I can't find the switch to turn the sound off. I just run them
> separately, and it works okay.
> GirlFriend also seems to have a problem co-existing with my Golf
> program, often trying to abort Golf with some sort of timing
> incompatibility.
> I probably should have stayed with GirlFriend 1.0, but I thought I
> might see better performance from GirlFriend 2.0. After months of
> conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has had
> experience with GirlFriend 2.0. He said I probably didn't have
> enough cache to run GirlFriend 2.0, and eventually it would require
> a Token Ring to run properly. He was right--as soon as I purged my
> cache, it uninstalled itself.
> Shortly after that, I installed GirlFriend 3.0 beta. All the bugs
> were supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it, it gave me
> a virus anyway. I had to clean out my whole system and shut down
> for a while.
> I very cautiously upgraded to GirlFriend 4.0. This time I used a
> SCSI probe first and also installed a virus protection program. It
> worked okay for a while until I discovered that GirlFriend 1.0 was
> still in my system. I tried running GirlFriend 1.0 again with
> GirlFriend 4.0 still installed, but GirlFriend 4.0 has a feature I
> didn't know about that automatically senses the presence of any
> other version of GirlFriend and communicates with it in some
> way, which results in the immediate removal of both versions.
> The version I have now works pretty well, but there are still some
> problems. Like all versions of GirlFriend, it is written in some
> obscure language I can't understand, much less reprogram. Frankly I
> think there is too much attention paid to the look and feel rather
> than the desired functionality. Also, to get the best connections
> with your hardware, you usually have to use gold-plated contacts.
> And I've never liked how GirlFriend is totally "object-oriented."
> A year ago, a friend of mine upgraded his version of GirlFriend to
> GirlFriendPlus 1.0, which is a Terminate and Stay Resident version
> of GirlFriend. He discovered that GirlFriendPlus 1.0 expires
> within a year if you don't upgrade to Fiancee 1.0. So he did, but
> soon after that, he had to upgrade to Wife 1.0, which he describes
> as a huge resource hog. It has taken up all his space, so he can't
> load anything else. One of the primary reasons he decided to go
> with Wife 1.0 was because it came bundled with FreeSexPlus.
> Well, it turns out the resource allocation module of Wife 1.0
> sometimes prohibits access to FreeSexPlus, particularly the new
> Plug-Ins he wanted to try. On top of that, Wife 1.0 must be
> running on a well warmed-up system before he can do anything.
> Although he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with MotherInLaw 1.0
> which has an automatic pop-up feature he can't turn-off.
> I told him to try installing Mistress 1.0, but he said he heard if
> you try to run it without first uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0
> will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then
> Mistress 1.0 won't install anyway because of insufficient resources.
> I suppose the moral of the story is: know your system's hardware,
> it's software requirements and compatibilities and be real careful
> about what software you install and when and how you upgrade.

Yakov Horenstein
Milano, Italy

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