>SIXTEEN THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME 50
> YEARS TO LEARN:
> > (Dave Barry, Miami, Florida,
> USA Humor Columnist)
> >
> > 1. You will never find anybody who
> can give you a clear and
> > compelling
> > reason why we observe daylight-savings
> time.
> >
> > 2. You should never say anything to a
> woman that even remotely
> > suggests you think she's pregnant
> unless you can see an actual baby
> > emerging from her at that moment.
> >
> > 3. The most powerful force in the
> universe is gossip.
> >
> > 4. The one thing that unites all
> human beings, regardless of age,
> > gender, religion, economic status or
> ethnic background, is that, deep
> > down inside, we ALL believe that we
> are above-average drivers.
> >
> > 5. There comes a time when you should
> stop expecting other people to
> > make a big deal about your birthday.
> That time is age 11.
> >
> > 6. There is a very fine line between
> "hobby" and "mental illness."
> >
> > 7. People who want to share their
> religious views with you almost
> > never want you to share yours with
> them.
> >
> > 8. If you had to identify, in one
> word, the reason why the human race
> > has not achieved, and never will
> achieve, its full potential, that
> > word
> > would be "meetings."
> >
> > 9. The main accomplishment of almost
> all organized protests is to
> > annoy people who are not in them.
> >
> > 10. If there really is a God who
> created the entire universe with all
> > of its glories, and He decides to
> deliver a message to humanity, He
> > WILL
> > NOT use, as His messenger, a person on
> cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
> >
> > 11. You should not confuse your career
> with your life.
> >
> > 12. A person who is nice to you, but
> rude to the waiter, is not a nice
> > person.
> >
> > 13. No matter what happens, somebody
> will find a way to take it too
> > seriously.
> >
> > 14. When trouble arises and things
> look bad, there is always one
> > individual who perceives a solution
> and is willing to take command.
> > Very often, that individual is crazy.
> >
> > 15. Your friends love you, anyway.
> >
> > 16. Nobody cares if you can't dance
> well. Just get up and dance.
>
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This archive was generated by hypermail 2.1.2 : Tue Jun 05 2001 - 22:53:23 EEST