Off Topic- Friday Humour

From: Allan E W Rennie (
Date: Fri Apr 24 1998 - 16:35:18 EEST

Well, it is Friday after all.......

At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer
industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with
technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
twenty five dollar cars that get 1000 miles per gallon."

Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the
following statement:

"Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?"

1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to
buy a new car.
2. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason. For
some strange reason, you would accept this.
3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and
fail and you would have to reinstall the engine. For some strange
reason, you would accept this too.
4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you
bought "Car95" or "Car NT." But, then you would have to buy more seats.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive, but would only
run on five percent of the roads.
6. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to
their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.
7. The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a
"general car default" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say "are you sure?" before going off.
10. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what
11. At frequent and unexpected intervals, a warning light would light
up saying "The engine has performed an illegal operation and will be
shut down. Any further action by the driver would kill the engine.


Allan E W Rennie Research Student Centre for Rapid Design and Manufacture Buckinghamshire Chilterns University College Queen Alexandra Road High Wycombe, Bucks HP11 2JZ, UK

Tel: +44 (0)1494 605085 Fax: +44 (0)1494 538593

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