From: Yakov Horenstein (yakov@planet.it)
Date: Fri Feb 19 1999 - 00:24:25 EET

In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear encounters, the
Alaska Department of Fish and Game has issued the following advisory to
hikers, hunters, and fishermen while in the field:

It is strongly advised that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their
clothing so as not to startle grizzly bears that aren't expecting
outdoorsmen to be walking in their habitat.

It is also strongly advised that outdoorsmen carry non-lethal pepper spray
with them in case of an encounter with a grizzly.

The Department of Natural Resources for Alaska states it is a good idea to
watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should be able to
recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear poop.

Black bear poop is smaller and contains lots of berries and, many times,
squirrel fur.

Grizzly bear poop is larger, has little bells in it and smells like pepper.


St. Peter stood at the Pearly Gates, waiting for the incoming. He saw Jesus
walking by and caught his attention.

"Jesus, could you mind the gate while I go do an errand?"

"Sure," replied Jesus. "What do I have to do?"

"Just find out about the people who arrive. Ask about their background,
their family, and their lives. Then decide if they deserve entry into

"Sounds easy enough. OK."

So Jesus waited at the gates while St. Peter went off on his errand.

The first person to approach the gates was a wrinkled old man. Jesus
summoned him to the examination table and sat across from him. Jesus peered
at the old man and asked, "What was it you did for a living?"

The old man replied, "I was a carpenter."

Jesus remembered his own earthly existence and leaned forward. "Did you
have any family?" he asked.

"Yes, I had a son, but I lost him."

Jesus leaned forward some more. "You lost your son? Can you tell me about him?"

"Well, he had holes in his hands and feet."

Jesus leaned forward even more and whispered, "Father?"

The old man leaned forward and whispered, "Pinocchio?"

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