RE: Off-topic, Friday Humor

From: NxInxs (
Date: Sat Jun 19 1999 - 02:49:28 EEST

Some Friday humor....
> Travel Agent Stories
>The following are actual stories told by travel agents (and
>you wonder why US citizens generally score less than the
>rest of the world on geography)...
>I had someone who wanted to stay at the Bob Newhart Inn in
>Connecticut. When I explained that the inn was fictional,
>the customer became very irate and insisted "I know it is
>real, I see people check in every week!"
>Also, I really did have someone ask for an aisle seat so
>that their hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the
>A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii.
>After going over all the cost info, she asked, "would it
>be cheaper to fly to California and then take the
>train to Hawaii?"
>I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown.
>I started to explain the length of the flight and the
>passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not
>trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in
>Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like
>the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in
>Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." her response....
>A secretary called in looking for hotel in Los Angles.
>She gave me various names off a list, none of which I
>could find. I finally had her fax me the list. To my surprise,
>it was a list of hotels in New Orleans, Louisiana. She thought
>the LA stood for Los Angles, and that New Orleans was a suburb
>of L.A. Worst of all, when I called her back, she was not
>even embarrassed.
>A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I
>asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he
>was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is
>not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He
>replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is
>a very thin state."
>I got a call from a man who asked, "is it possible to see
>England from Canada?" I said, "No." He said "but they look so
>close on the map."
>Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas.
>When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour
>lay-over in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a
>car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a
>car to drive between the gates to save time."
>A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible
>that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into
>Chicago at 8:33am.I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour
>ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of
>time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and
>she bought that!
>A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical
>description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs
>to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when
>I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that
>said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After
>putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" (I was
>actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for
>Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a
>destination tag on her luggage.
>I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know
>which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, which
>he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these
>darn planes have numbers on them."
>A woman called and said, " I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on
>one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly
>to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yea, whatever."
>A business man called and had a question about the
>documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a
>lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he
>needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times
>and never had to have one of those." I double checked, and
>sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this
>he said, "Look, I've been to China 4 times and every time they
>have accepted my American Express."
>A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from
>Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss
>for words. Finally, the agent: "Are you sure that's the name
>of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the
>customer. After some searching, the agent came back with,
>"I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the
>country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer
>retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is.
>Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New
>York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo,
>do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"
>I thought Buffalo was in Kansas!!

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