Off-topic, RE: Clean unoffensive Friday humor...

From: SiderWhite (
Date: Fri Feb 04 2000 - 08:25:13 EET

Friday humor....

Subject: Funny stories

> Ever notice how a 4 year olds voice is louder than 200 adult voices?
> Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit, with
> crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into my bedroom about 2
> a.m., I found my two children in bed with my wife, Karey, apparently
> by the loud storm. I resigned myself to sleep in the guest bedroom that
> night. The next day, I talked to the children, and explained that it was
> O.K. to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad, but when I was expected
> please don't sleep with Mom that night. They said OK.
> After my next trip several weeks later, Karey and the children picked me
> in the terminal at the appointed time. Since the plane was late, everyone
> had come into the terminal to wait for my plane's arrival, along with
> hundreds of other folks waiting for their arriving passengers. As I
> the waiting area, my son saw me, and came running shouting, "Hi, Dad! I've
> got some good news!" As I waved back, I said loudly, "What's the good
> "Nobody slept with Mommy while you were away this time!" Alex shouted.
> airport became very quiet, as everyone in the waiting area looked at Alex,
> then turned to me, and then searched the rest of the area to see if they
> could figure out exactly who his Mom was.
> An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her
> then-four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool,the doctor had left
> stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began
> playing with it. 'Be still, my heart,' thought my friend, 'my daughter
> to follow in my footsteps!' Then the child spoke into the instrument:
> "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"
> A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm
> daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane
> Sugarbrown. The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't
> Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother
says I'
> m not."
> A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?"
> Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough."
> The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can
> a smooth one, can I play with him?"
> A mother was teaching her 3-year-old the Lord's prayer. For several
> at bedtime she repeated it after her mother.
> One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride
> as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer.
> "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail,
> A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as
> they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be
> in church?"
> One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
> A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with
> fascination, he looked at the old pages as he turned them. Then something
> fell out of the Bible and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It
> an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between pages. "Momma,
> look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?"
> mother asked.
> With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered:"It's Adam's
> At the beginning of a children's sermon, one girl came
> up to the altar wearing a beautiful dress. As the children were
> sitting down around the pastor, he leaned over and said to the girl,
> "That is a very pretty dress.
> Is it your Easter dress?"
> The girl replied almost directly into the pastor's clip-on mike,
> "Yes, and my mom says it's a bitch to iron."

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