Friday humour. Anybody hiring?

From: Ian Gibson (
Date: Fri May 19 2000 - 03:55:50 EEST

Rp-ml has been a place for job ads in the past (and I hope in the future,
particularly top academic positions). However, when an ad is written, is
this what is really meant?

"Competitive Salary"
We remain competitive by paying you less than our
"Join our fast-paced company"
We have no time to train you.
"Casual work atmosphere"
We don't pay enough to expect that you will dress up; a
couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

"Some overtime required"
Some every night and some every weekend.
"Duties will vary"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"Must have an eye for detail"
We have no quality assurance.
Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
"Apply in person"
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told that the position
has been filled.
"Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience"
You'll need it to replace the three people who just quit.
"Problem-solving skills a must"
You're walking into perpetual chaos.
"Requires team leadership skills"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the
pay or respect.
"Good communication skills"
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they
want and do it.

Dr. Ian Gibson
Associate Professor
Department of Mechanical Engineering
The University of Hong Kong
tel: (852) 28597901
fax: (852) 28585415
mobile: (852) 98738281

We work our jobs
Collect our pay
Believe we're ridin' down the highway when in fact we're slip-slidin away
(Paul Simon)

For more information about the rp-ml, see

This archive was generated by hypermail 2.1.2 : Tue Jun 05 2001 - 23:03:31 EEST