since its friday...

From: D. Talbot (Scicon Tech) (
Date: Sat Jul 08 2000 - 00:57:17 EEST

Since it's Friday, and the jokes have been flying anyway...

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,
   did you get such a great bike?" The
   second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding

my own
   business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the
bike to
   the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want".
   The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes
   wouldn't have fit."

   Comprehending Engineers...

   To the optimist, the glass is half full.
   To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
   To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

   Comprehending Engineers...

   A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
   particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer
   fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15
   The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such
   The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a
word with
   him." (dramatic pause) "Hi Fred. Say, what's with that group ahead of

   They're rather slow, aren't they?"
   The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind
   They lost their sight saving our Clubhouse from a fire last year, so
   always let them play for free anytime."
   The group was silent for a moment.
   The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer
   them tonight."
   The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my
   ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for
   The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"

   Comprehending Engineers...

   What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil
   Mechanical Engineers build weapons
   Civil Engineers build targets.

   Comprehending Engineers...

   Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the
   designers of the human body. One said,
   "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
   Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system
   many thousands of electrical connections."
   The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run
   toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

   Comprehending Engineers...

   "Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
   Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough

   Comprehending Engineers...

   An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing, whether it
   better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
   The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid
   foundation for an enduring relationship.
   The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the
   and mystery he found there.
   The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you
have a
   wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with

   other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done".

   Comprehending Engineers...

   An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him

   said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into
   a beautiful princess". He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in

   The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back
into a
   beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer
   the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned to the pocket.
   The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
   I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took

   frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
   Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
   princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you
want. Why
   won't you kiss me?"
   The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
   girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool!"

Donny Talbot
Account Representative
Scicon Technologies
office: 949-252-1617

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